#coder jokes

[agendratum]

second door, nanzhu as baijie looking at a naked covered in blood man leaving: "a bit too small"

qiushi, "you're a girl, aren't you ashamed of looking there?"

nanzhu, "yeah, and isn't he ashamed that some girl has a bigger one under her skirt?"

[chiseld]

Going to start referring to "Git commissions" instead of "Git commits". Because "commission" is the correct noun form.

[ace-thirst-trap]

cis: gendered at birth

cis+: gendered critical thinking

cis++: gender is object-oriented and polymorphic

[naitsu]

i dont understand what people who arent programmers/coders get out of homestuck

[rainymonday05]

I’m sorry…BUT I HAD TO.

[lostjared]

Joke song

Coders paradise by MC++ featuring snoop froggy frog

(Verse 1)

Yo, listen up, I'm the jokester on the scene,

They call me MC ++, I'm a C++ machine.

I spit lines of code, got algorithms on lock,

From STL to templates, I'm hitting the spot.

I'm looping through life like an endless array,

With pointers so sharp, I'll blow your mind away.

From classes to inheritance, I got the flow,

Like a polymorphic beat, I make it all grow.

(Chorus)

I'm MC ++, the coder supreme,

Got functions for days, livin' the programmer dream.

With syntax so tight, I'm the rap game's king,

When it comes to C++, I make the compiler sing.

(Verse 2)

I debug with finesse, ain't no bug too tough,

Catch me stack overflowin', can't get enough.

From header files to namespaces, I bring the heat,

My code so clean, it's like poetry on repeat.

I'm multi-threaded, running loops in my mind,

Optimizing algorithms, leaving haters behind.

With templates so flexible, I'm breaking the mold,

MC ++ in the house, watch my story unfold.

(Chorus)

I'm MC ++, the coder supreme,

Got functions for days, livin' the programmer dream.

With syntax so tight, I'm the rap game's king,

When it comes to C++, I make the compiler sing.

(Verse 3)

I'm object-oriented, my style is refined,

Creating classes and objects, blowing your mind.

From constructors to destructors, I'm in control,

MC ++ on the mic, I'm reaching my goal.

I'm exception handling, ain't no error too rough,

With try-catch blocks, I handle the stuff.

From standard libraries to custom designs,

MC ++ in the building, I'm crossing the lines.

(Chorus)

I'm MC ++, the coder supreme,

Got functions for days, livin' the programmer dream.

With syntax so tight, I'm the rap game's king,

When it comes to C++, I make the compiler sing.

(Bridge)

So raise your IDEs, let's make some noise,

MC ++ in the house, bringing the joys.

From OOP to STL, I'm breaking the mold,

C++ rapper extraordinaire, forever bold.

(Outro)

So here's to the programmers, the coders so bright,

Keep coding with passion, reaching new heights.

And to MC ++, the legend in the game,

Keep rapping those lines, forever the same.

[dyellogin]

Eltingville Club, but... Gen Z

A dumb idea I laugh at, so I draw it out. It's not big on being a "fan" like OG E.C., just annoying internet extremely online users I've encountered as a Gen Z who has been on the internet for more than a decade.

BILL DICKEY

Username : @discardedmrtyr // Bill

Favorite shit : (anime harem), politics, reading, doing reviews, internet drama, leaked content (porn, mostly), shooter games, pepe reaction images.

Occupation : Substitute teacher while in college

Blackpilled anime enthusiast and notorious troll, Bill spends his days spreading hate online while using pepe reaction images because he’s upset how soyjacks are tainted with normies. He’s a vocal critic of all things progressive. He frequently targets minorities, celebrities, and content creators. Bill finds joy in provoking outrage. He’s loves shooter games. He's a Belle Delphine supporter on Onlyfans even when she hasn't uploaded anything. At work as a substitute teacher, Bill abuses his position to indoctrinate impressionable high school students. Off work and college, he gets very active on forums like Lolcow and Kiwifarm. He actively feeds drama with his leaked/stalking finds. In his spare spare time, Bill enjoys reading fanfics and making movies and books reviews that he keeps to himself.

JOSH LEVY

Username : @IHrtSeal // @SealLover123 // Seally // J-Chan

Favorite shit : seals, art, fan content, lost media, roleplay, Harry Potter, Steven Universe, Homestuck.

Occupation : NEET

Autistic Deviantart kid, Josh is similar to Chris Chan, where he has a tendency to fall into rage baits. Josh spends a significant amount of time online since his early childhood. He’s active on Deviantart, Twitter, Tumblr, Discord, etc. Josh customizes his profiles that fit into his aesthetic. His texts are roleplay-like, dramatic, with excessive emojis+emoticons like ♥️♥️♥️(>_<!!!). Josh has a strong interest in fan-content, mainly fanart, often commissions fetish arts from various artists, he commissioned Shadman once. Josh is also prone to harassing others over OOC and selfships. He treats the internet like a safe place diary where he publicize his suicidal ideations and meltdowns. He shows unwarranted sexual behaviors towards strangers online. He is a fan-writer. He writes a lot for character wiki pages and has proship tags in his AO3 works.

PETE DINUNZIO

Username : @VmP175 // @vAMPiro // Ambrose // Leech

Favorite shit : analogue horror, gamemaker games, obscure horror games, illegal/banned medias, true crime reality

Occupation : Cashier and weed dealer

Degenerate loser, Pete accesses the dark web and those Telegram groups daily. He mainly seeks porn of anorexic girls or girls with self-harm scars (prefers it fresh). Self-proclaimed sex icon, Pete would larp as big bad hot alpha men, thirst post on TikTok, showing his muscular body while wearing classic hot men horror masks. He only replies to mentally ill girls.

Dirt poor, with a shitty laptop that can only play roblox and low-quality gamemaker games (always pirates it). Pete is a skilled coder, and he attempts to create games independently. Very huge relation, very socially active. Doxx people online. He uses a lot of AAVE (the white kid with the baggy clothes who's talking like he’s black). Pete has parasocial relationships with content creators. He will defend his favorite creators even after they’re outed as a horrible person. Groomed by a creator he looks up to when he was a kid but feigning ignorance. He does a lot of edgy jokes.

JERRY STOKES

Username : @lv8ryu // リュウ // ryuuuu!

Website : Voidspeech.net // anon

Favorite shit : art, music, memes, brainrot content, cute girls, cute things

Occupation : University student

Leads a double life, Jerry going through University as a rich nepo baby while maintaining his sona online. Jerry fakes an Asian identity. He pretends to be Japanese, using Google Translate. Jerry has an art account with a decent following, where he focuses on his passion, keeping things vanilla and drama-free. He hates seeing reposts of free palestine, blm, etc. Jerry shares his art on Twitter and Newground, usually just girls or softcore porn. Jerry runs a website called Voidspeech, where he posts NSFW political edgy weekly webcomic (and remains anonymous). Pete finds out Jerry is behind the website and manages to get in contact with him. Jerry would send memes and brainrot content in the group chat. He rarely ever talks on group voice calls. Instead, he uses his customized soundboards to show reactions or just quote one of his brainrot content. Jerry would make shitty music he laughs at and forces his friends (especially Pete) to listen via Discord voice call. would say “I get lesbians!”

Bonus (concept design)

I didn't really like Pete's design, so I redesigned his outfit.

[allthegothihopgirls]

listening to incel music whilst doing web design for the full immersive experience

[luvyeni]

COMPUTER FREAK 𝕼. ( 제이크 )

𝓲𝓲 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒𓈒 ( 제이크 x fem!reader )   ─── ❛ genre ⸝⸝ smut. content warning. loser!jake. reader is a coder but not much of coding is talked about. handjobs. unprotected sex. sub!jake. word count. 4.1k 「 req? ⦂ yes/no 」 library  !

synopsis … this couldn’t be happening right now; he had to be stuck in some fucked up nightmare. there’s no way his computer did this — not while he was doing that.

𝕼 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒 yeni’s note .ᐟ i don’t write sub often but when i do it’s like i go a bit crazy 😗… enjoy!

jake really had it all; he was smart, he passed every test he took. he was handsome, many girls would love to be with him; not like they had a chance though. he wasn’t interested in them. he was interested in you, the computer savvy girl who moved into the apartment he shared along with heeseung, jay sunghoon about a year ago.

but jake was terrible at talking to girls; especially you. he’s never been around a girl who’s both nerdy like him, but also fucking hot as you. when you first moved into the apartment he did his best to avoid you, knowing he’d never be able to hold a full conversation with you — but then he felt bad , because you were extremely nice to him , you even made him cookies to show your appreciation�� you were even a good fucking baker, was their anything you couldn’t do.

“yn you have to put on some shorts.” jay said as you sat down. “i have shorts on.” you lifted up the shirt , they all averted their eyes. “be for real , you people are the last guys i’d ever flash.” you sat down. “i’ve smelt what that damn bathroom smells like after one of you's been in there.” you grimaced , pushing your glasses up on your face. “ you fixed the wifi?” heeseung asked. “you mean plug it back in? yes and if you call me at 12 in the morning to do it again im going wash my pink thong with all your white clothes.”

“he’d like that i think , he’d get to touch your panties.” sunghoon teased and you rolled your eyes. “no you know who would like it.” heeseung smirked pointing past you; which made you turn around. “good morning jake.” you smiled. “go-good morning yn.” he sat down. “go-good morning yn.” heeseung teased him , he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “now that the family is all together time for our morning meeting.” jay said. “you mean jays nagging time.” everyone laughed at your joke. “im gonna put you on the streets yn.”

“i pay my fair share of utilities; so no you can’t kick me out.” you smiled. “well then i’ll rent your room out , good luck with a new roommate.” you shrugged. “i’ll just share a room with jake, you don’t mind jake?” you turned to him. “hu-huh?” he stuttered. “we-well i mean.” he stressed to find the right words. “you say that now until you find a hard sock in the closet you’ll be sharing.” him and sunghoon snickered. “shut up.” the boy said softly from beside you. “heeseung you proudly show your fleshlight on the night stand?” you said. “it’s my room isn’t it.” your nose scrunched up in disgust. “you’re a pervert.”

“i am man yn , men do men things.” he shot back. “you’re hardly a man.” you stood up. “how about i follow you back to your room and show you how much of a man i am.” you pushed your glasses up , fake gagging. “i respect myself , no thank you.” you walked back to your room. “she knows she wants me.” the guys at the table shook their heads. “does she really?”

jake stood up , putting his cereal bowl in the sink. “i have to go to work,” he said. “do you have to work late today? i have a package being delivered and I need someone to be here and sign it.” sunghoon said. “yn doesn’t work today , she’ll be here.” sunghoon sighed. “she was here last time they came but she was too busy coding to pay attention.” he rolled his eyes. “she’s a coder , that’s her job.” heeseung said , he was another coder , just as passionate as you. “you can’t just pull away from it to open a door.”

“especially if just porn , i opened the box , that’s disgusting.” jake didn’t even entertain his friends , ready to leave. “she was trying make a code for a sims mod she wanted , it wasn’t that important and stop opening my damn mail.” jake spoke up. “i’ll be home.” and with that he was out the door.

his work day was exhausting; he just wanted to go home and sleep. he opened the door; kicked off his shoes at the front , stopping to get water from the fridge , before making his way to his room. “sunghoon is that you?” he heard your door open , sticking your head out. “oh hi jake.” you stepped out of your room , you were dressed in the same shorts from this morning— but instead of a long shirt , you have a cropped tank top on. he had to fight himself to not look at your boobs , but it was hard when they were so full and plump and he just wanted to lay his head on them , touch them… fuck them. “jake?” you waved your hands in front of his face. “h-huh?”

you chuckled; your boobs slightly bouncing. fuck , you didn’t have a bra on. “i asked how was work? did you eat?” he coughed awkwardly, his softened cock stirring in his pants. “o-oh yeah , i had some ramen.” he said. “you need to start eating more healthy , those ramens aren’t good for you.” you grabbed his shoulder. “if you want i can make you lunch to take , heeseung pays me to do it , but you don’t annoy me half as much , so it’s no need.” he nodded. “th-thank you.” he stuttered out , desperate to get to his room , not to sleep anymore , but for other reasons. “okay , it will be in the fridge with heeseungs in the morning.” you turned to go back into your room. “and if sunghoon comes , tell him the package did come and i got but im holding it hostage until he gives me the 100 bucks he owes me for hacking into his instagram account because his dumbass forgot his password.” he nodded and you closed your door.

he basically sprinted to his room; locking the door behind him. “fuck.” he cursed , his hard cock desperate to be touched. sitting down in his gaming chair , pulling up his screen on his pc , hand already palming his needy cock. “sh-shit.”

here’s where jake might be a pervert; he’s tried so hard to just go to twitter and watch the random porn there — but he just couldn’t , it had to be specific; he’s perfectly curated a playlist full of porn and pornstars… ones that look as close to you as they could , because in his eyes no one could look like you , but they could look similar to you. but not only that , they sounded like you too…

this started a few months ago; he stumbled across a video and he couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the video; the pornstar looked like you. glasses , same build — and tits just as big as yours. not only that , she sorta sounded like you; but he knew it wasn’t you. she didn’t have same cute nose you had; and her voice was just a smidge deeper and of course no one else might’ve noticed , but he did. that was the first night he past out in his chair , covered in cum; his dick sore for the constant tugging of it. he came to that video more times than he liked to admit that night.

he then started a quest of finding videos just like it; saving them to his computer, all of them ranging from pov to cumshots; professional to amateur, hell he even had solo and couple porns , but they all had a common denominator — they resembled or sounded like you. he was yet to find one of titty fucking yet; but he was looking. “mmh , which one.” he groaned , clicking his favorite , cock now free from his underwear , slowly stroking it as he went through the playlist. “let’s do a real old one.” he clicked the video , sitting back in his chair.

the video is only 1 minute and nine seconds long; but it’s the perfect video — the closest he was ever to getting a direct look like of you; the glasses were identical , everything was… including the boobs. “oh fuck.” he began stroking his cock , just as the model began stroking the cock of her partner. it was a pov , his favorite. because then he could imagine it was him , and you were stroking his cock for real. “oh fuck that feels good.” he moaned.

he bit his lip to cover a moan; he couldn’t risk you hearing him or anybody in the house for that matter because then they’d never let him live it down. he began to speed up, the video replaying over and over as he hunched over in his chair , so close to a desperate relief. he watch the guy cum all over the girls glasses , which he dreamt of doing to you on numerous of occasions; your pretty smile as he covered you in ropes of cum. “fuck yn im gonna cum.” he moaned — then his computer stopped.

his hand immediately stopped; hissing as he ruined his own orgasm. “what the fuck?” he said , hitting the side of the screen; he knew it would do nothing but he still gave it a try. then he realized his worst nightmare has come true; his screen froze, with the porn still on it. this couldn’t be happening right now; he had to be stuck in some fucked up nightmare. there’s no way his computer did this — not while he was doing that.

he quickly unplugged the computer; waited for a bit — he was desperate; he even blew on the plug in hopes it worked. ”please.” he plugged it back in— and no , the screen was still the same, and on the worst part as well , right when he came on the girls face. he couldn’t believe his screen was stuck on this , what else he couldn’t believe is that he still wanted to finish.

he stuck his head out of his door; praying your door wasn’t open. he almost jumped for joy as saw that it wasn’t, he just had to make it to heeseungs room. he quietly knocked on the door , heeseung emerging right after. “what im on my way out.” he said. “no , wait come here.” jake said. “follow me to my room.” heeseung looked at his friend. “you’re good looking but i am a man who loves pussy.” jake rolled his eyes. “just come.” he pushed the door open. “make sure the door is closed.” he panicked. “what is it?”

“don’t laugh.” he started. “if you laugh i don’t know what i’ll do but it will be very drastic.” he said , heeseung grew tired. “come on, show me i have a hot hook up in about 30 minutes, something you’d know about if you did hide in here on your computer doing god knows what.” jake plugged the computer back in , the frozen screen popping back up into frame. “yo dude , what the fuck?” he exclaimed , jake covered his mouth. “don’t shout i don’t want her to hear.” he pointed to the door. “ew gross.” he pushed the boys hand away. “i clearly see what you do with those hands , never touch me again.”

“please help me.” he said. “it’s stuck and it won’t go away.” he whined. “get rid of it for me.” heeseung sighed walking over to the computer , bending down. “whoa , this looks like yn.” he said. “holy shit , if it wasn’t for the subtle differences i would think this was her…” heeseung trailed off. “is this why you’re watching this , because it looks like her?” heeseung smirked. “bro you’re a freak honestly.” he said turning back to the screen. “but respect.” he shrugged. “do you have any others.”

“is that important? can you get it off?” jake asked , already embarrassed. “no.” the boy stood straight. “this is out of my area of expertise,” he said. “heeseung please try.” the boy begged. “you know who might be able to figure this out.” no please don’t say her. “yn , she just helped jay unfreeze his computer too , his didn’t have porn that looked like her on it , but I’m sure this won’t freak her out that bad.”

he couldn’t possibly ask you; you’d probably stop talking to him. think he’s so weird, he thinks he’s weird. “you do school work on here so you’re gonna need her to do it , just pray she has a sense of humor.” he said walking out the door. “and if you get your computer working , send that to me.”

he dreaded doing this; how could he ask you this? he felt his heart in his ass as he knocked on the door. “yn?” he waited. “come in.” he heard your sweet voice , pushing the door open. “hi jake , what can i do for you?” you turned around in your pink chair , legs crossed in the seat. “um we-well i co-could use your help.” he said. “in what?” you chirped , god he was so sick , even in his time of desperation, he couple only think about sinking his cock in between your plush toys , and fucking them until he covered you in his cum. “it-its with my computer , it’s kinda hard to explained.” he said — and sure it was. “oh okay , let’s go take a look at it.”

you got up from your seat; walking past him and out the room. “it’s probably nothing i can’t fix.” you opened the door to his room. “it smells surprisingly okay in here.” you made your way over to the computer. “okay , now what’s wrong with it?” you said , searching. “oh wait it’s not even plugged in , let– wait not.” it was too late , you had already plugged it in; the dreaded screen popping up , you were face to face with what seemed like your doppelgänger — in such a compromising position. “um okay.” you said.

“yn im so sorry , it’s not what it looks like.” he said. “well what it looks like is me.” you said. “except my boobs are much nicer than those.” his eyes widened , did you really just say that? “she even has my glasses , are my glasses porn star glasses?” you were taking this extremely well. “yo-you’re not upset?” he said , you chuckled. “jake we live in a confined space and see each other every day, honestly i wouldn’t be concerned in the slightest if this wasn’t me but one of the guys.”

“can you fix it?” you laughed, he was confused. “did you ask heeseung?” he nodded. “wh-why are you asking?” you pressed the ctrl key , then the alt key and then finally the del key. “because it’s so simple to fix this.” you said clicking restart. “you didn’t need me , you just asked heeseung on the day he was being a dick.” he was even more embarrassed now. “there’s no need to be embarrassed jakey.” you sat down in his seat. “i told you im not upset about the video.” you said. “are there more?” you said his eyes widened. “i mean come on , this video is too accurate , hell i wouldn’t thought you edited my head on to it but that’s obvious you didn’t , so that means you had to go searching for this.” you said. “and this can’t be the only one jake , i know it.”

“show them to me.” you said. “yo-you want me to show you, for real?” you moved the chair back allowing him to move in front of the computer. “show me.” you watched him intently as he clicked on the keys; he could feel the burn from your stare as you watched him pull up the album with almost 100 photos and videos. “oh?” you scooted closer; so close that if even turned his head , he’d be staring directly down at your chest. “my god , why do i have so many pornstar look alikes?” you said. “so-some of them are the same.” he said. “ah i can see that.”

you scrolled through the videos; he watched you trembling, his cock twitching in his jeans , he never had a proper release. “oh is this the one you were watching when it froze.” you clicked on it. “wait yn.” you waited for the video to load. “he’s not the biggest.” you said , watching the model jerk him off. “y-yn.” he was so fucking hard right now he felt like he was gonna cum in his pants. “this video is too forced.” you paused it. “he’s barely even moaning.” you said , you were now turning facing him. “how do you sound?”

was this happening right now? were you seriously asking this? “u-um.” his hand went to his cock , to cover it. “don’t cover it.” you moved his hands. “im assuming you didn’t get to finish?” he nodded ; still thinking he was joking , until he felt your hand on his clothes dick. “y-yn.” he whimpered , you pouted. “oh poor you , you’re throbbing.” you stroked him through his pants. “you like my boobs jakey?”

he nodded and you stopped moving, he let out a whine. “oh don’t be so upset.” you took your tank top off , your boobs bouncing from the impact. “come on , i want you to cum just like he did.” you picked his cock back up; kissing his tip, looking up at him — this was his dream , to have you like this; stroking his cock. “you wanna cum jakey don’t you?” he whimpered , nodding. “ye-yes , please let me cum.” you cupped his balls which made him moan loudly. “fuck im gonna cum.” you were getting turned on from hearing him moan. “cum for me.” and he couldn’t help it , that set him off. “im cumming!” he shouted , as cum spurted from his tip on to your face, hitting your glasses. “fuck.” you kept stroking him , his legs twitching. “i can’t , i came , i came stop.” he whimpered. “please stop.” you finally gave him a rest , releasing his cock. “so cute.” you brought your fingers to your lips. “you’re so sensitive , you came so much and i barely did anything.”

you stood up , switching places with him. “i-i can go again , i just need a minute.” he huffed , you smiled. “yeah?” you straddled his lap. “is watching another one of these gonna help , or do you want me to help you get hard again?” you kissed the back of his ear. “i can help you.” your hand came to his , bringing it to your boobs. “do they feel nice?” he nodded. “i’ve seen you staring at them before.” you said , moaning as he began to knead it. “fuck that feels so good.” you grinded against him. “they're so sore , you’re making me feel so good.” your fingers tangling up in his hair. “su-such a good boy.” and just like that he was hard again. “oh i see you liked that?” you chuckled. “ca-can i put it in now?” he didn’t want to cum just from you sitting on it. “i don’t know , you really haven’t been a good boy.” he whimpered.

“i-i have.” he said , his hair sticking to your forehead. “really?” you moved again. “good boys don’t jerk off to their roommate without permission do they?” you said , he shook his head. “that’s right , only perverts do.” he was about to blow his load. “y-yn pl-please let me put it in , wa-wanna feel you.” he begged , you loved it , he was so willing to do anything to cum. “i don’t really think you deserve it , i think you don’t deserve to cum for the rest of the week.” you began to stand up.

no , he couldn’t go that long he was sure , he jerked off almost everyday, he knew this would kill him. “please let me put it in , please i’ll be a good boy i promise.” he said. “i wont cum with out your permission ever again. , please , i’ll do whatev– oh fuck!” he gasped as you sunk down on him. “oh fuck , fuck fuck!” he moaned as he felt the warmth of your cunt. “jakey you’re so big.” you began to move , his head was thrown back , eyes crossed almost as you rode him. “that’s it jakey , you like it?” he nodded. “so-so much , please go faster.”

you grabbed his cheeks forcing him to look at you. “you wanna kiss?” he nodded. “please.” you kissed his lips , bouncing on his cock. he was in heaving right now , if he could feel this for the rest of his life — or at least for the next two minutes, then he could die a happy man. “y-yn im gonna cum again.” he said , looking up at you with wide , tear filled eyes. “can i cum? please can i cum?” he moaned , you kissed his forehead , tugging at the nape of his neck. “good boy for asking , you can cum.”

his hips involuntarily shook as he bucked up into you cumming hard. “fuck.” he wrapped his arms around your waist , as he pumped what felt like the largest load he ever gave. “jakey.” you moaned , he slightly bit down on your shoulder. “can i keep going?” he nodded , he was willing to push forward even though his cock was sore. “ye-yes you can.” you began to speed up. “oh fuck , jakey yes!” you squealed , the boy below you moaning loudly as he felt overwhelmed by your cunt. “fuck im gonna cum.” you moaned , he brought his lips to your nipples , sucking harshly on them. “ah yes!” you tugged his hair. “im cumming.”

he felt you cumming , and he thought he was gonna get hard again. “did you cum?” you nodded. “it felt so good.” you praised , scratching his neck gently. “you’re such a good boy jakey , such a good boy.”

he woke up later from his nap later that night ; tired and hungry, you had really did a number on him. he stumbled his way to the kitchen opening the fridge. “fun evening?” heeseung stood in the hallway. “fuck off , you set me up.” he took the cookie off the plate. “I’m starving.” he said. “im sure , you want some ramen?” he nodded. “and i didn’t set you up , i knew she wouldn’t mind it?”

“how do know?” he said. “because she’s fucking obsessed with you bro.” heeseung said. “he’s right.” they both turned to where you were standing in his shirt. “you’re just haven’t been paying attention.” you said , sitting in his lap, his eyes widened. “too busy watching porn that looks like her.” heeseung waited for the water to boil. “but that’s okay , that means you can make it up to me right?” you smirked feeling him get hard again. “ye-yeah.” you stood up. “good boy.” you made your way back to his room. “oh that was gross.” heeseung gagged , but jake didn’t care. “just leave the ramen out on the stove.” he followed behind you. “please keep it down I have homework.”

“there you are.” you waited on his bed. “come here.” you moved your pointer finger; he moved towards you. “good boy.” he crawled on to the bed , your legs spreading for him to sit in the middle. “what do you want?” you asked. “to-to taste you , i really want to taste you.” he could almost taste it on his tongue. “go a head.” you pushed his head down , where you were already bare and ready for him. “you know what to do.” you moaned feeling him lick your clit. “oh fuck.”

“such a good boy.”

©️LUVYENI

[whos-starr]

Hello Gravity Falls fans! Incase you're wondering about Alex Hirsch's recent tweets:

If you input the Alex Hirsch password a bunch of times on the website it eventually gives you this image:

Basically says Alex is a robot and he's got an update dec 15th at 11:13. The email at the bottom is also incorrect, it is now Mickeyleaks11111@gmail.com. That time has passed now and Alex posted this tweet:

Talked to some coder friends in a discord server, some of it is actually just code that does not work at all. Later he posted this tweet and deleted it soon after:

Code translates to "BUY MULAN B ON BLURAY AND DISNEY DVD". Like I said earlier it was deleted soon after it was posted.

This could be an elaborate joke, but it also could be next phase in the ARG. I'll update if there's more.

Small update: apparently it is TBOB's anniversary of being announced! Everyone say happy anniversary!!!!!

UPDATE: It seems this is all that will be happening. Nothing more, just an ad for mulan 2. Go buy mulan 2 now everyone <3

[agendratum]

this is so stupid why is this actually making me cry

[forsaken-headcanons]

writing hcs only to lose bcz u added an image as an anon [i wrote it for a whole hour]

based these on the theories of the irl 00n7 views on his rblx character

007n7 has a discord fanclub server based on his previous exploits

exploiting discord servers usually has like a raging children with senidng the most absurd stuff, but they also try to add or invite 007n7 by any of his known contact, which he would obv decline if any of these kids actually managed to find. 007n7 sees no reason to join these when he has a kid and his club to mentor and look after

out of purely boredom or curiosity in his free time, 007n7 would watch documentaries of 'the forgotten hacker 007n7' or conspiracy theories of 'WHERE IS THE INFAMOUS NOTORIOUS HACKER 007N7????'

^ He sometimes would comment with his main acc saying 'lol' or 'man this guy sucks' for trolling, which the public either goes feral or accuses of him being not real [once a troll, always a troll - some wise internet person idk]

^^ Sometimes these documentary or theory channels would reach out to him, but 007n7 denies he is the 'real' hacker but only a roleplay troll account, often stating this in a 3rd person tone for both confusion and convincing. The 3rd person POV is to seem like a parent is replying in the regards of their child who likes to roleplay. [c00lkid prob did smth like this too for him to knows the trick, or he used to do this when he was younger] <he does feel bad for lying lol

^^ will keep an eye on c00lkid to make sure he DOES not join these types of servers or watches these videos of him

On the weekends when the c00lkid's team meets up, 007n7 would sometimes teach them coding for free and for the joy of children's curiosity. Parents like him for the idea of free good-quality coding classes for joining a club.

^Parents do wonder why 007n7 isn't working as a coder or perhaps even work at the roblox HQ with his skills instead of working multiple minimum wage jobs , or even at the bare minimum charge for his coding teachings

^^ 007n7 teaches for the love of children's curiosity as they WANT to learn about coding. Instead of being forced to learn like they do in schools.

^ 007n7 is also quite shy and unused to the attention he's receiving from the parents, though he manages it with a dad joke and gets along with the other parents well [luckily]

^^ some Parents had the suspicion of him being a hacker or the internet known hacker guy who used cause havoc, but 007n7 just goes 'oh haha yeah people say i look like him, i get that alot' which seems to convice parents

thanks for my ted talk of non angst 007n7, be prepared for angst for the next one :]

🔫🐟anon

I actually really fw this. It's silly.

[itsonlybaby]

𐙚ᣟ݂﹒𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 - 𝐛. 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞﹒

◜♡﹒﹒𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭﹒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭﹒𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

playlist !

Bellamy Blake - Arkadia

꒰ ୨୧ ꒱ ⸝⸝ you're a coder, but what's a coder without something to code? bellamy had instructed you to keep watch of the guns and ammo instead of going out with the guard on a hunt. you feel useless to the people of arkadia, maybe bellamy could help with that. ﹒ 　 ⊹ 　⤷ cw: cursing, small kiss scene, sfw

"I shouldn't be watching the guns, Bellamy!"

I shout from inside the main room where we kept the rovers. Bellamy had ordered me to stay in Arkadia while the rest of them went on a hunt, rations had grown scarce since Kane ordered the guard to go out less with the threat of grounders. This was a rare time when people got to go beyond the gate.

"We don't need a lot of people for this, okay? So just stay here." Bellamy argued back, it made sense, only a few people were going with him. Clarke, Murphy, Miller, Harper, and another from the guard. I never got around to knowing everyone's names.

I just knew I felt trapped being behind these walls, I was starting to feel useless to the people around me as well, it's not like I could code anything to help us with the grounder attacks, all I could do was sit with Monty and try to contact other stations with radios. Which always ended up in radio silence.

I could feel my blood boiling, "Well why Harper? It's not like I can't handle a gun, swap her out with me." I hadn't known Harper was leaning on a rover near Bellamy and me.

"Gee, thanks." I heard Harper chirp up in a sarcasm-filled tone. I'd have to apologize later, she knows I didn't mean it.

Bellamy sighed and placed his hands on his hips, looking at me sternly. It was only then I got a good look at him. His curls were more defined today, for once not littered with blood and dirt, you could see his freckles more clearly as well. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't dreamt of him once or twice.

"We need Harper, she's been training with Miller and has become a good shot," Bellamy turned towards the first rover, setting his gun down in the back as Miller climbed in, Harper following after. "This isn't up for discussion." He finishes off with his back turned to me.

Clarke had come up from behind me and placed her hand on my shoulder, attempting to comfort me. "It'll be fi-"

I had cut her sentence short by jerking my shoulder away, I wasn't just mad at her, I was mad at the world. I hadn't said anything further and took one last look at Bellamy before storming off to the armory.

It had been a few days since that last encounter. The group had come back with plenty of food, a successful mission with only a few scrapes and cuts. They didn't even encounter any grounders.

Since they had come back I made no move to talk to any of them- or anyone for that matter. Only speaking to Monty when I had to, which was only once.

Bellamy had tried to speak to me, he tried to sit with me during dinner, tried to speak to me at the bar, and even tried talking to me on the radio stations. Which made a part of my heart flutter at his attempts. It almost made me forget why I was even mad at him to begin with.

I was at the computer, sitting and waiting for anything to pop up about the radios when Monty said he had plans with Jasper to help cheer him up, I made no move to stop him. What's more time alone with my thoughts? They were all of Bellamy. Replaying the few moments he'd try and talk to me in my head.

Me and Bellamy weren't as close as the rest of the group was. It isn't that he didn't try and talk to me, it's just ever since we landed I've viewed him as a player who only had one goal in life; to get into girls' pants.

It's safe to say he's been growing on me- well he was. I had been starting to miss his shitty jokes, how the light from the fire would illuminate his face in the best way, how his smile looked, how it was like he got stars in his eyes every time he laughed. I always tried to impress him, so why wouldn't he let me go?

My thoughts were cut short when I heard a pair of footsteps, which I just assumed were Montys.

"Hey, Monty." I greeted in a monotone voice, not caring to check.

"It's not Monty." I heard the other voice say, a voice I knew too well. What did he want now? I spun around in my chair, seeing how Bellamy toward over me. I simply tolled my eyes at him.

"What do you need," I said flatly

"Why're you ignoring me? Avoiding me?" He asks, care lacing his voice.

I took a moment to think about my reply, why exactly was I? He made me feel useless, I can't do anything to help Arkadia besides sit her in this fucking chair.

"Why didn't you let me go?" I countered his question with a question.

I was met with a scoff, "You're still on this? I told you it wasn't up for discussion."

"Yes, I'm still on this! I do nothing for Arkadia besides sit here and listen to a radio nobody talks into!" I shout, standing up abruptly, and walking closer to him.

Bellamy crossed his arms, unmoving. "What if something had happened to you?" He spoke, trying to remain calm.

"Then so be it! I feel useless Bellamy." My voice wavered, tears threatening to spill.

"You're everything but. At least here, you'd be safe." We were now inches apart.

"Why do you even care." Tears began crawling down my cheek, I couldn't believe I let myself get so vulnerable with him.

"Because I just do," He paused, debating if he should say what he was thinking. "And I'd never forgive myself if I let something bad happen to you."

His arms were now uncrossed and resting on my forearms, a touch that practically melted me. His words brought a deeper blush on my cheeks, my tears slowing their roll. I felt myself moving closer every second until finally, his lips were on mine.

It wasn't a kiss of lust or craving, it was a kiss of passion, a kiss that made me feel warm all over, it was a feeling I wanted to last forever. Bellamy was kissing me like I could break at any minute. His hands went up to cup my cheeks and wipe away my tears.

He had pulled away with a smile, leaving my lips feeling lost.

"I've wanted to do that since the day we landed," Bellamy admitted, a faint pink tint lining his face. Bellamy, blushing, something I never thought I'd see. A goofy smile made its way onto my face at the sight.

"Being useless doesn't seem so bad now."

◜♡﹒﹒𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭﹒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭﹒𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

[beatrixst0nehill]

"Owww, they ache so bad, Chat. OMG, why did you make me do this?I never wanted to be a titty streamer, I can't believe ya'll talked me into this, it's so fucking humiliating. I got fired from my job, you know? Cause my coworkers found my videos. They started getting sent to everyone at the office in a chain email. It was hard enough trying to explain why the mousy girl who did coding suddenly went from flat chested to having a giant set of cow udders jiggling all over the place. Because remember, Chat, my boobs are growing too fast for me to keep up buying bras. So I was walking around with these fat milk bags bouncing in my blouse or sweater. Dripping milk. People started joking that I should offer them milk in their coffee. I tried to pretend my breast growth was serious, like sudden macromastia that runs in my family. But nope, they found me.....

My boss eventually took me aside and ripped off my top, he smacked my breasts, squeezed them, spun me around, ripped off my skirt, and ass fucked me so loud everyone on the floor could hear it, then he spanked me and sent me packing, walking home with no clothes, only my purse and heels. My coworkers laughed and took pictures, my boss's cum dripping from my ass. Needless to say on the train ride home a few other men left their deposits inside me, and my tits were left nice and bruised. Now I'm here, still taking these pills like an idiot. I swear they lower your IQ--I specifically bought the ones that said they didn't affect intelligence but I seriously doubt that's the case. I know I'm getting dumber and I don't really care.... I don't need to be smart being a titty streamer with an OF, now do I?

Yes, I'm doing an OF. I know I said I wouldn't but how else will I make any money? I liked getting raped and used so much in the train and at work I think I'm going to just film myself in skimpy outfits getting ganged up and and force fucked. Does that sound like fun? From brilliant, flat-chested coder girl to a worthless, braindead slab of rape meat with a dumb-looking set of oversized udders. That's all I am now. All I'll ever be. I bet I'm already pregnant. Don't these pills have a warning that says not to get pregnant because they're a really potent fertility drug? Oops. Well, if I'm pregnant with ten kids my udders will just grow faster, and it'll make me such an easier target for men to force themselves on. Not like I'll be able to run away or fight back with a belly that big, it's almost perfect for a girl like me. Sorry, a braindead hucow. If I was still a girl and not a braindead hucow I'd get these ridiculous looking things chopped off, get an abortion, flush these pills, and beg for my job back. Instead, I kinda wanna wear a tiny sundress barefoot onto the subway, set up a camera, and see how many men take the bait and rape my dumb hucow brains out. I'll be sure to plead and beg and tell them I'm pregnant, as pedestrians just watch or film me getting force fucked over and over by whole groups of men..... Quite the career change, but I think this suits me more, don't you all agree? ❤️"

[sunnysidesevenup]

Overview

Trying to make this post a bit more “official”, but still a little funny <3

For those who haven’t seen this project before, this is a fun little dating sim featuring people’s TWST oc’s. It started as a bit of a joke but now it’s… definitely not. It’s actually a full game now. Even people who have no knowledge of TWST will be able to play it, haha…

If you’d like to be added to the tag list, let me know ^^

Updates from the Dev Team!

First up, all the sprites have been completed! The bases being done by me, and then expressions made by those who wanted to <3 You might see the sprites floating around, depending on who wants to post theirs or not. Most likely they’ll be used in memes lmao

Nearly all the first meetings have been written! Everyone has been doing an excellent job writing for their own characters. Even if we keep getting derailed by ships….

The shop has been completed! Mostly. Featuring the weirdest collection of items you have ever seen. And marketable plushies. Why are there plushies of students at a school shop? The world may never know…

Some Interesting Patch Notes

From our lovely coder @ramshackle-ramblings, who you should check out immediately. Seriously. Go do so. I am paraphrasing these notes because I think they’re hilarious, also some of them happened a while ago. Sorry for the slow updates.

We’re on version 0.0.2!! This is very exciting.

Tilly is no longer hoarding infinite cream soda. I think this is a win.

Griffin is no longer breaking the game! Yippee! I’m still keep the Griffin Thanos snap meme on hand though. Just in case.

March exists again. And might be the main character now considering the infinite Yurch loop.

Gave Tilly his hat back. This one was actually my fault, sorry Tilly…

Infinite Yurch Loop Fixed. These guys just REALLY wanted you to witness them fight.

And, of course, out of context memes.

We have a whole channel for these, so we can’t leave them out. Sadly there is an image limit 😭

Dev Team (& Character Cast)

check them out. Do it. You know you want to.

Abraham & Alise @ramshackle-ramblings (sorry for the double tag <3)

Griffin @twsted-void

March @kumikokane

Yurena @ranas-twisted-wonderland

Constance @theolivetree123

Tsuki @prefectrose

Otto @w1ndigo0

Rory @miriaocs

Arlo (from me and against his will <3)

Tag List

@purplefirepit @kirexa

[concertigrossi]

Operation Mincemeat Characters as IT People

I am painfully aware of how small the overlap is on the Venn diagram of Broadway Nerds and IT Nerds, so I'm not sure who else is going to get these jokes, hey, but it's my Tumblr, and I do what I want. :)

Charles Cholmondeley: That Linux Guy. You know, THAT one. Arch Linux Do or Die. Doesn't understand why people would use Microsoft Active Directory when OpenLDAP is so intuitive and logical.

Hester Leggatt: That one COBOL programmer who supplicants approach on bended knee when that one Too-Big-To-Fail-Or-Be-Taken-Offline application that the entire modern world has relied on since the late 1980s needs updating.

Jean Leslie: She is that most valuable of all creatures: a fast, efficient and effective coder who documents well and is a good team player. Has a massive fanbase on Stack Overflow thanks to her astonishingly useful submissions.

Johnny Bevan: Team manager, with no changes, really. Honestly, that is kind of what managing a team of IT people looks like, only with fewer dead bodies. (Most of the time.)

Ewen Montagu: Marketing Director. Took a bath when NFTs crashed, is now hyping AI.